In the Dark

We were quiet for months, hidden away in our homes,
and as we step outside, battle cries are heard in the distance.
For days I have felt their rattle.
I wanted to talk about it, but I didn’t know how,
so I sat, unable to speak, until the tears came.

grief.

I drove in my car and let all the sadness stream down my face.
It's not that I need to say any words, or have any answers, but grief— I know grief.
I know how it plunges a fist into your stomach and takes your breath away.
The country hurts as one and as many.
Dignity is lost, reason is mute.
The earth itself quakes with sobs as each day brings another wave of pain.
I wait here,
not trying to wield control.
Just here.
Waiting.
Praying.
Listening.
This is —part of the process.
Mourning is the anteroom.
I will keep having conversations.
I will keep loving mercy.
I will try to be an agent of healing.
But for now, I sit and feel the darkness,
it’s empty hollow.